~SARAHrandomFACE

p.s. i can't change my journal mood for some reason.

ok so
wow

everything kind of happened so fast.
there was 6th grade.
i moved.
i had no life there you know.
always bullied.
i think i had like 3 friends.
no money.
nothing.

moved to emporia.
it was better for me.
i was finally happy.
got tons of friends.
moved on to high school.
got a relationship.
good grades.
great teachers.
everything you know.

then i noticed something.
the money and the happiness started slipping away like last time.
things were getting harder and more sad.
but i didn't want to make the same mistakes.
i tried looking for a job.
i got one but i don't turn 15 til July 9th so i have to wait til then to get it.

well that was too long of a wait.

my mom was getting more and more interviews.
and each time they seemed to get farther and farther from the place and people i love.

soon the horrible news came.
i'm moving. agian.
it's not as far.
it's in the Kansas City area.
sure i'll be close but close isn't good enough.

my mother broke her promise,
she promised i would never move agian.
but she's not the only one.
i broke a promise to one of my best friends.

her story-

her name is Jessica Ann Hilbish.
i moved the beginning of my 7th grade year.
i had no one.
until i met her.
she was apposite of me.
shy, quiet, and smart.
but some how we connected imediatley.
we both had no one except each other.
i told her my story about being bullied and rough life with no friends.
she told me her story about having to fight diabetes 1 & 2 since she was born and having her only friend move away.
we knew we were meant to be.

2 days after being friends she brought me a friendship bracelet she made by her self.
the flowers were so detailed.
no one had actually made me a friendship bracelet especially after being friends for only 2 days.
christmas was coming quick and we were talking about how much i love those soda flavored chap sticks.
you know,
the ones that taste like DR. PEPPER, RT. BEER, 7-UP, etc.
and the next day she bought me the whole pack of them.
i had right then and there said,
"your one of my best friends and i promise you i'll never move on you."

what a fake,
fraud,
liar,
shmuk.
any possible rude word i can think all describes me.

i had to sit there on the phone and listen to her cry.
friends never like hearing their friends cry!

plus she had a shooting compotition up in kentucky with her X and i was suppost to be all happy with her and keep her from noticing or getting hurt by him!
but insted of him hurting her i did.
she called me durring one of her challenges saying,
"sarah, i can't do this, i got you on my mind and i haven't been shooting good at all!! i'm sucking up this whole compotition! i'm getting last place! you can't just leave me!"

thats about when i broke.
Jessica is an amazing shooter.
all she gets is bulls eyes.
and to hear she lost a round is almost impossible.

it's not just jessica i'm gonna miss.
i'll miss every one.

i'm in a almost 10 month relationship with an amazing guy.
and now i have to leave him.
we were in the car.
he was taking me home after about 7-8 hours of crying and cuddleing.
and as i begin to get out of the car he starts crying like a kid who lost his favorite toy.
and he said,
"all i wanted to do my senior year was walk down the hall way holding the hand of the most beautiful girl and the one i love!"

now you tell me what i'm suppost to say to that?!
"oh it'll be ok"
"suck it up everything will be ok"
i'm lucky to persuade him to still date me and even move up there when he graduates.
he's been taking extra classes over the summer so he can graduate early.

i love him soo much.

well here's some extra info if you need it.

what?- yes i'm moving
when?- in august but thats if we sell the house here, if we cant i get to stay for the first semester.
where?- Kansas City
why?- cus life sucks, and people don't realise how hard my family has it, especially me.
my family isn't the best or happiest family in the world but what family is?